Unexpected, I went back to our little country that we all called Philippines, My dad convinced me and so I brainwashed my husband to go back and that was also after a year of that September 11 attack. Ground Zero is only 30 minutes away from our home in Ridgefield, New Jersey.

When I first met my husband’s best friend, I asked him what he liked about the country of milk and honey and he said, “it’s just like the difference between heaven and hell but the milk and honey is the heaven.” I told myself that maybe it’s because of the life he has, before he went to America. I can’t blame him, he was from Pasig.

When I was a little kid, My dad put a sticker inside our Glass Cabinet in the house that says” NINOY”, I don’t know what year was that, but people around me were like panicking, all I can remember was that I knew then that “Noynoy”, Ninoy’s son was in town.

People keep on asking me to tell my story over and over, I don’t know why they are so curious. Though more than the calendar highest number is my age, still I am stuck in 20’s. I am happy. I thought I am, in terms of taking care of my kids and living in my native country, I was wrong.

I thought that because people in Philippines didn’t have jobs or most of the people, it will be easier for me to get some help like driver or household help. I was wrong. The job has many qualifications, somebody applying must know first how to speak English for my kids, trust worthy and must have patience.

I thought the job will be easy too. When I left Philippines, and that was 14 years ago, I could buy anything. And when I went to the states, yes still the same and much more. I have a sports car, got lots of designer’s bags and a housewife.

I’m not complaining because I learned everything, from laundry to cooking all kinds of meals from rice cake to kare- kare.

Change is good though for every change, there’s resistance and it is given. But the people who have a negative motive to our society, still, I cannot understand. Although right now, all of them, good or bad are very hard to find and check the differences. I am a very honest person, if you will ask me, I will answer you directly in your face. I’m not also against to any government policies but I am asking, if people know what is right and wrong, why they are still doing the bad one? Do they have something inside of them that’s telling them to do that? Do they have somebody telling them that it is right even though it is wrong?

Well, they are the best graduate from the best school in the country, Why? People here now suffer more. I am suffering more than ever, am I lazy? Let me guess….

1. Overpopulation
2. Poverty
3. Corruption
4. Crimes
5. Cost of living
6. Illegal Settlers

If I have time or opportunity to go back, I will. The pasture is greener abroad. As a Balikbayan, one will see the difference. Living in the country with Gender Equality, Reproductive Health and good education has a difference. Can you blame me? Can you help me?